me... right now in the lounge...
where i wanna be... .... :P haha
Thursday, October 15, 2009
going out with a bang
Today is my last day dressed like a tart - at vega. so i decided to go all out :)
my hair is up as i have had no time to wash it... but i do have make up on. my nails are all repainted! my legs moisturized and shaved :) i feel great.
I am wearing a bright colourful top - it shows some boob - haha, with a pair of black shorts and some nine west heels.
i'm a bit bleak cus i just parallel parked my audi into the curb... so i have now got one decent scratch on my mag *sadness* but i guess it was bound to happen eventually! so in 10 days: the car has been egged, rolled into a gate and scratched a mag - great! *sarcasm* dad is going to kill me! :(
anyways, i won't let my pretty little self worry about something i can't fix (or can't afford to fix)!!! lol.
have a great day everyone :)
ITS THE WEEEEKKKEEEND BAAAAAAABY!!!!
oh what a day
It is 20:06 and i have just got home from vega.
fuck me, i am tired! i didn't wear heels today but i still tried looking decent.
i put on my summers dress from top shop :)
thank goodness i dressed comfortably as i sat on my chair in the MM room for 10 hours working on my animation... and i have only done 47 seconds... well at least i am more than half way!
-trying to stay positive!
my brother also left today :( pretty bummed. he was squatting in my lounge.. now i just came home to a neat couch, no cushions or clothes all over it. i miss him :(
makes me think just how important the ones we love are. can't wait for him to come back. looking for a place for the 2 of us to stay next year. i realise how much i love living with my best friend when he left today!
peace out
fuck me, i am tired! i didn't wear heels today but i still tried looking decent.
i put on my summers dress from top shop :)
thank goodness i dressed comfortably as i sat on my chair in the MM room for 10 hours working on my animation... and i have only done 47 seconds... well at least i am more than half way!
-trying to stay positive!
my brother also left today :( pretty bummed. he was squatting in my lounge.. now i just came home to a neat couch, no cushions or clothes all over it. i miss him :(
makes me think just how important the ones we love are. can't wait for him to come back. looking for a place for the 2 of us to stay next year. i realise how much i love living with my best friend when he left today!
peace out
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
S-T-R-I-K-E
I have had enough! My feet hurt, my skin looks like shit and I am sick of walking around acting like a have a carrot up my ass. Today i put my hair in a bun, dressed in shorts and a t-shirt, put on slops and did NO MAKE UP!
It is scary when you start to act like you are better than everyone because you start thinking that you are. I have caught myself talking to a car guard like he's shit, looking up and down at the shops wondering "what were you thinking". I judge sometimes, its the truth but normally as often as i think of something horrible to say to the person i also think of something nice.
This assignment has shown me how easy it is to change and it is worrying because money does not give anyone the right to treat another person like they are less of a person!
i look gross... but i don't really care!
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
you wanna walk in my shoes... go ahead!
I don't mean to sound cocky when i say this, but i live a very good life. there are very few things i can complain about and i think a lot of people would like to walk a day in mu shoes as the path looks really smooth. well... i have to say even in the life i live, i choose to dress comfortably and chilled. today i am realizing why i choose to dress the way i do. this morning i put on my black, peep toe aldo wedges with a cute little black dress. after a day in these heels i can hardly walk, i have 5 huge callouses on each foot. After putting make up on everyday for the past 10 days i have pimples all over my face ... ...
...you can walk a day in my shoes with pleasure!
...you can walk a day in my shoes with pleasure!
Monday, October 12, 2009
a lucky girl....
Today I might as well have come in a tracksuit with no make up and dirty hair. The only person to say anything to me was my brother and thats because he's living with me and knows how hard i am trying to look good everyday... I am quite happy as I blended in with everyone :) :) :) however there is nothing worse than trying to look your best and nobody notices. I have to keep reminding myself that people know I am doing this experiment with stereotypes and comfort zones so they expect me to dress up! They are not insulting me by saying nothing.
I have to keep remembering that many people do not have the opportunity to wear nice clothes and plenty of people get dressed everyday, trying to impress the ones they love or their friends and they are completely ignored. I am so grateful I have a brother who cares enough to compliment me, a mother who buys me clothes and a friendship group who makes me feel good even when they don't compliment me!!! :P
I am truly blessed to have the life I do and very grateful!
Sunday, October 11, 2009
A day for me
Today I have decided to stay at home, catch up on some sleep and do some work. I am still in my PJ's (its 2:16pm) , my hair is a mess and I look like shit - but i feel great :)
Can't believe tomorrow starts again an hour earlier just to get people to notice me when I am probably not going to be comfortable with all eyes on me!
Here's hoping I get similar reactions to Friday!!! It always helps to be complimented! :P
Saturday, October 10, 2009
I hid behind the homo
Last night as I danced away my life at Crew I was surrounded by erotic, sweaty males. Men who were grinding each other, kissing each other and who knows what else behind the bathroom door!
I normally go to places like Karma or Tiger Tiger, now call me wrong, but I am sure in straight clubs the heat level does not get as high as it did at thee gay bar last night. I have no problem with it and believe me when I say I am 100% comfortable with gay men. But do gay bars hold a license for soft porn? And when does this erotic behavior start bordering on pornography? - there are loads of people watching.
I watched the dancers doing their thing with all the men below jumping at their feet, watched the dancers rub up against one another, teasing the crowd and wondered how well this would go down in a straight club.
I am fighting a war with myself at the moment because I am not one for P.D.I. but it is also so great being surrounded by people who are so turned on by one another that they can't help keeping their hands off each other. That raw sexual tension was buzzing in the air where at a straight club it doesn't really exist.
I went to the bar as myself last night. I had no blow dried hair, no make up, flat shoes and a dress that was a little short... AND I LOVED IT! My feet are so buggered from walking in heels all day it was wonderful to just be clean and away from all the beauty products and clothes!!!! I felt so comfortable in the gay bar dressed like that, I had nobody to impress, it was just about myself and my friends! - Isn't it sad that in order to go out at night and not be self conscious a girl has to hide in a gay bar....
I normally go to places like Karma or Tiger Tiger, now call me wrong, but I am sure in straight clubs the heat level does not get as high as it did at thee gay bar last night. I have no problem with it and believe me when I say I am 100% comfortable with gay men. But do gay bars hold a license for soft porn? And when does this erotic behavior start bordering on pornography? - there are loads of people watching.
I watched the dancers doing their thing with all the men below jumping at their feet, watched the dancers rub up against one another, teasing the crowd and wondered how well this would go down in a straight club.
I am fighting a war with myself at the moment because I am not one for P.D.I. but it is also so great being surrounded by people who are so turned on by one another that they can't help keeping their hands off each other. That raw sexual tension was buzzing in the air where at a straight club it doesn't really exist.
I went to the bar as myself last night. I had no blow dried hair, no make up, flat shoes and a dress that was a little short... AND I LOVED IT! My feet are so buggered from walking in heels all day it was wonderful to just be clean and away from all the beauty products and clothes!!!! I felt so comfortable in the gay bar dressed like that, I had nobody to impress, it was just about myself and my friends! - Isn't it sad that in order to go out at night and not be self conscious a girl has to hide in a gay bar....
Friday, October 9, 2009
Finally got some notice
Today as i buttoned up my Jo Borkett blouse, I thought it would be a great day.
I put on my purple (matching) heels and walked out the door knowing today my oufit
was going to get me noticed. AND IT DID!
I went to class which was fine, but after class I had to go sort out the bullet proofing
of my new car. The men there could barely talk to me. It felt so good. Before today I was
self conscious as I walked around a head taller than everyone else, today I embraced it!
It was not so much about trying to live up to something but rather about being comfortable
in what i was wearing... The looks I got in the waterfront made me feel pretty good though :)
One man even made some remarks. I felt like sex on legs!
It is pretty sad though... do women these days have to put in all this effort in order to get
noticed or is this power walk energy I am giving off getting me attention?
either way... people notice me now that i am dolled up and in heels... nobody noticed me before.
I put on my purple (matching) heels and walked out the door knowing today my oufit
was going to get me noticed. AND IT DID!
I went to class which was fine, but after class I had to go sort out the bullet proofing
of my new car. The men there could barely talk to me. It felt so good. Before today I was
self conscious as I walked around a head taller than everyone else, today I embraced it!
It was not so much about trying to live up to something but rather about being comfortable
in what i was wearing... The looks I got in the waterfront made me feel pretty good though :)
One man even made some remarks. I felt like sex on legs!
It is pretty sad though... do women these days have to put in all this effort in order to get
noticed or is this power walk energy I am giving off getting me attention?
either way... people notice me now that i am dolled up and in heels... nobody noticed me before.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
The Stereotype
I walked down the street today and I felt powerful. I felt like i owned the world. My red heels which were today's pick made me unstoppable. People could feel my energy, when I went to Camps Bay for drinks this evening the waiter ran around me like I was the queen. With my eyes tucked neatly behind my D&Gs, I played the part of the stereotype he had assumed I was. He treated me with respect, he was pleasant . . . but he expected a huge tip! Do day time heels mean money? Or is this a "week day drink at Camps Bay" association?
I was sitting next to my brother who was dressed as if he had just come off the beach: t-shirt, shorts and slops. Did this affect the waiter?
While we were sitting, sipping on our cocktails, a man in a black Golf 6 drove up. He parked right in front of me. my immidiate association was "rick prick" driving around in a new Golf and he can barely even drive *his parrallel parking skills could do with some work*! he just happened to leave his emergency lights on... my brother being the gentleman he is reminded him and turns out this golf driver is such a nice guy, down to earth and funny!
Here I am trying to prove a point about stereotyping and being judged.... when i still do it myself.
I was sitting next to my brother who was dressed as if he had just come off the beach: t-shirt, shorts and slops. Did this affect the waiter?
While we were sitting, sipping on our cocktails, a man in a black Golf 6 drove up. He parked right in front of me. my immidiate association was "rick prick" driving around in a new Golf and he can barely even drive *his parrallel parking skills could do with some work*! he just happened to leave his emergency lights on... my brother being the gentleman he is reminded him and turns out this golf driver is such a nice guy, down to earth and funny!
Here I am trying to prove a point about stereotyping and being judged.... when i still do it myself.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Dress = Power
Today, sitting in my Crit Con lesson I saw the quote "dress is power".
I could not believe how true that is. These days your intellectual capacity is judged on whether you can match your clutch with your shoes! When one walks into a shop and they're dressed like a tramp (regardless of money) or one walks in dressed in some fancy clothes, the tramp will be frowned upon and the more expensive looking person is accepted. Who is to say that these people are not equal in intellect?
We all work hard everyday to help South Africa be racism-free, for everyone to be equal and for there to be an absolute minimum of prejudice... yet we live in such a classist society! The man on the street is still a person, such as the tart in high heels who keeps tripping on the curb *this would be me today*
50 years ago ladies across the globe burned their bras to give people like me the vote. Originally they too were the person on the side of the street who nobody listened to and over time gained the strength and stamina to enforce equality . . . surely this equality should also apply to the man on the street?
We are all so caught up in a world of stereotypes that we walk around with blinkers.... who knows what we are missing out on!
There is an advert for a cigar:
It doesn't argue.
It won't talk back.
And it has no option.
The perfect companion.
Of course this caused HUGE uproar in the feminist movement because of preconceived ideas about women.
But how come we can still have preconceived ideas about the tramps?
I could not believe how true that is. These days your intellectual capacity is judged on whether you can match your clutch with your shoes! When one walks into a shop and they're dressed like a tramp (regardless of money) or one walks in dressed in some fancy clothes, the tramp will be frowned upon and the more expensive looking person is accepted. Who is to say that these people are not equal in intellect?
We all work hard everyday to help South Africa be racism-free, for everyone to be equal and for there to be an absolute minimum of prejudice... yet we live in such a classist society! The man on the street is still a person, such as the tart in high heels who keeps tripping on the curb *this would be me today*
50 years ago ladies across the globe burned their bras to give people like me the vote. Originally they too were the person on the side of the street who nobody listened to and over time gained the strength and stamina to enforce equality . . . surely this equality should also apply to the man on the street?
We are all so caught up in a world of stereotypes that we walk around with blinkers.... who knows what we are missing out on!
There is an advert for a cigar:
It doesn't argue.
It won't talk back.
And it has no option.
The perfect companion.
Of course this caused HUGE uproar in the feminist movement because of preconceived ideas about women.
But how come we can still have preconceived ideas about the tramps?
Dress = Power
Today, sitting in my Crit Con lesson I saw the quote "dress is power".
I could not believe how true that is. These days your intellectual capacity is judged on whether you can match your clutch with your shoes! When one walks into a shop and they're dressed like a tramp (regardless of money) or one walks in dressed in some fancy clothes, the tramp will be forwned upon and the more expensive looking person is accepted. Who is to say that these people are not equal in intellect?
50 years ago ladies across the globe burned their bras to give people like me the vote, they were dressed beautifully
I could not believe how true that is. These days your intellectual capacity is judged on whether you can match your clutch with your shoes! When one walks into a shop and they're dressed like a tramp (regardless of money) or one walks in dressed in some fancy clothes, the tramp will be forwned upon and the more expensive looking person is accepted. Who is to say that these people are not equal in intellect?
50 years ago ladies across the globe burned their bras to give people like me the vote, they were dressed beautifully
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Day 1: the outfit
my beautiful shoes :)
Black leotard.Black Pencil Skirt.
Pink Waist Belt.
Pink Shoes with Black Lace.
finally back to my comfort
After spending an entire day feeling like everyone was looking at me I can finally relax as the day is over! Walking into Vega this morning was horrible! It felt like every set of eyes (including the walls) were looking at me! I looked completely out of place. I will be honest, people complimented me on what I was wearing and what I looked at, but unless you feel happy with yourself, no amount of compliments can help!! I used to think I loved being the centre of attention, today proved to me that when all eyes are on me, all i want to do is run away!
Just as well running in heels is something I can do!
Just as well running in heels is something I can do!
The only weapons I carry are high heels
Dressed to kill... with nowhere to go!
Normally my day would start with me running out the door, grabbing an apple on the run (as i am always running late) and wearing whatever was lying on the floor. Today I woke up ... had to straighten my hair, put make up, find something decent to wear and still get to class on time! it is a miracle I got there! *needless to say I forgot my apple*
I feel like such a tool though! I am wearing my pink lace high heels, a black pencil skirt, a pink belt and a black top tucked into the skirt. I am so over dressed ... ... this is so my going out clothes!!! Not, my everyday!!!
Think I might try get some sleep in my Armani bag.
Monday, October 5, 2009
Dinner with the friendlies
I just got home from a hectic day!
- took my Audi to get her new number plates.
after that i went out for lunch at the waterfront! of course i did not pay,
then i did all my grocery shopping at woolworths!
After i got home from the V and A i went out for dinner with mates!
- didn't pay for that either. . . life;s great in my little world!
It is so easy to fall into the trap of acting like this spoiled little girl. Just looking at what i wrote above i am able to see how many people actually believe they have these difficult lives because "their car needs new plates and the service guy is useless"
I am going to write 2 paragraphs from now on . . . one from the "rich bitch" and one that is actually me. i cannot bare to just write from a nasty, spoiled girl's perception as it is important i am able to show the difference!
lunch this afternoon was at spur with my brother and his friend... we had such a great lunch! we chatted about jobs (both of them have job interviews lined up). it was a lovely afternoon with ait of boozing and lots of laughing! dinner with my friends was even better! i introduced my brother to some of my friends :) i love my friends! we are all a bit naughty when we are together but we always fun!!!! they are such real friends! not the kind of "upper east side" "Blaire and Sabrina" type friends. our friendship is so real! Love you girls x x x
anyways, sushi and wine have made me sleepy! so i am off to sleep.
night night
- took my Audi to get her new number plates.
after that i went out for lunch at the waterfront! of course i did not pay,
then i did all my grocery shopping at woolworths!
After i got home from the V and A i went out for dinner with mates!
- didn't pay for that either. . . life;s great in my little world!
It is so easy to fall into the trap of acting like this spoiled little girl. Just looking at what i wrote above i am able to see how many people actually believe they have these difficult lives because "their car needs new plates and the service guy is useless"
I am going to write 2 paragraphs from now on . . . one from the "rich bitch" and one that is actually me. i cannot bare to just write from a nasty, spoiled girl's perception as it is important i am able to show the difference!
lunch this afternoon was at spur with my brother and his friend... we had such a great lunch! we chatted about jobs (both of them have job interviews lined up). it was a lovely afternoon with ait of boozing and lots of laughing! dinner with my friends was even better! i introduced my brother to some of my friends :) i love my friends! we are all a bit naughty when we are together but we always fun!!!! they are such real friends! not the kind of "upper east side" "Blaire and Sabrina" type friends. our friendship is so real! Love you girls x x x
anyways, sushi and wine have made me sleepy! so i am off to sleep.
night night
Judge the book . . .
There is nothing worse than being judged before people have met you. judgment is something that seems to be an everyday occurrence now and with this come preconceptions, of which many are false.
I am lucky enough to come from a wealthy family where the good things in life are the norm. I drive a beautiful car, live in a beautiful flat and going to London is like going to Durban. Don't get me wrong, I am very grateful to my parents for spoiling me like they do but other people seem to assume I am some "rich bitch" who thinks badly of everyone else. My parents are great people and have taught me how to appreciate everything they give me and to not just expect it.
I am a very down to earth person, although I love the high society life, I also love to just chill with my mates in ripped tracksuit pants and a t-shirt as old as me. I am just a normal person, I am no better than anyone and no worse - I know this, so why can others not see it?
Over the next two weeks I am going to prove to everyone that a book should not be judged by its cover. From now on I am going to wear all my fancy clothes to college, wear expensive make-up, straighten my hair, make sure my nails are perfect - and dress for the part as the "little rich Sandton girl"
I wonder if I'll pick up that hoity-toity accent...
I am lucky enough to come from a wealthy family where the good things in life are the norm. I drive a beautiful car, live in a beautiful flat and going to London is like going to Durban. Don't get me wrong, I am very grateful to my parents for spoiling me like they do but other people seem to assume I am some "rich bitch" who thinks badly of everyone else. My parents are great people and have taught me how to appreciate everything they give me and to not just expect it.
I am a very down to earth person, although I love the high society life, I also love to just chill with my mates in ripped tracksuit pants and a t-shirt as old as me. I am just a normal person, I am no better than anyone and no worse - I know this, so why can others not see it?
Over the next two weeks I am going to prove to everyone that a book should not be judged by its cover. From now on I am going to wear all my fancy clothes to college, wear expensive make-up, straighten my hair, make sure my nails are perfect - and dress for the part as the "little rich Sandton girl"
I wonder if I'll pick up that hoity-toity accent...
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